As social
animals, we’re wired to seek connection. We desire connection and we thrive on
connection. Our experiences and thoughts about connection though, can vary
dramatically. Acquaintances, friends, family, colleagues, classmates,
co-workers- all people in our lives but we are connected to in some way or
other. But our connections go beyond this, we’re connected to people we cross
paths with, people we learn from, people that teach us life-long lessons that
we don’t ever forget.
The way
that these connections we form impact our mental health is so important for us
to look at. What we see, what we observe, what we learn and the quality of
relationships we have with other people has such a huge impact on us. Forming
connections where we feel safe, with people who motivate us and inspire us to
show up as our authentic selves, to grow and to continue learning from our
experiences is so important.
Something
that comes to mind often when thinking about good mental health is community
support and the quality of personal relationships in our lives. Feeling like
you have a strong support system to lean in can be beneficial for your mental
health and create a sense of belonging. Feeling like you have people in your
life to share your feelings with, to just vent with and share your joys with
can increase motivation and help cope with stress.
A big
part of connection is acceptance, we wish to feel accepted by others around us
for who we truly are. Feeling accepted can play a large role in creating the
sense of belonging that I mentioned earlier. This is where validation comes in.
Validation is the acceptance of another person’s feelings, thoughts, and
behaviors. Self-validation is the acceptance of your own feelings, thoughts,
and experiences.
Validation
helps us feel cared for, loved, and understood. The connections we form play a
huge role in how understood and accepted we feel. While seeking this validation
externally is understandable it is also important to focus on self-validation.
How can we validate ourselves?
While I
feel that this is a much bigger question than what my blog can attempt to
answer I would still like to try to answer it. Some ways to self-validate:
1) Pay
attention to how you talk to yourself
2) Encourage
and support yourself
3) Practice
self-acceptance
4) Work
on understanding judgments and biases that may be harming you
5) Focus
on understanding your behaviors and what may be causing them
6) Be kind to yourself
Self-validating is
not easy, it requires you to practice mindfulness, awareness and focus on all
your thoughts and experiences, especially the hard ones. While it may be hard,
it is not impossible for us to find ways to validate ourselves. Validating your
own thoughts and feelings can be empowering, it can help you feel calmer and
help you gain better and deeper understanding of yourself. Gaining a better
understanding of yourself can help you grow in more ways than one.